Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Creatures Part 2

It's time for us to continue our tour of The Illustrated Directory of Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Creatures. 

In the last post we met the "Weirdo Goof", Gay Pride Segisaurus, Creepy lizard-faced Deinonychus, and the worst skeletal restoration ever.

In this post, as promised, we meet the Carnosaurs. A.K.A: Every large theropod (Though again, this book is honest about it) represented to you by a retro Spinosaurus. Apparently "an Allosaurus-sized theropod from Niger, Africa."

The first profiled Carnosaur is Allosaurus. Specifically the kindly old granny Allosaur that bakes cookies for the boys when they come back from the hunt.

One Ceratosaurus and an over-weight Dilophosaurus later, we come to the Tyrannosaurids. :D

This is only the second goofiest Tyrannosaur in the book.

Two pages later, we find Daspletosaurus messily devouring the scattered remains of... something.

Next we meet the King Himself:

Um... it appears that Barney killed Baby Bop and then stuck his face in the gutter.

Jump ahead to the prosauropods. Dig the gnarly hands on this Plateosaurus.

Now for the sauropods. Apatosaurus gives Allosaurus two enthusiastic thumbs up!

In the "Hydsilophodont" section, we find a Tenontosaurus that isn't being attacked by Deinonychus! Breaking new ground!

I like the badass look on his face. He's like "Bring it! I've been through it all!"

As we head on to meet the Iguanodontids, we get an unenthusiastic wave from a bored-looking Muttaburrasaurus.

Later on, we see a poor theropod learn the hard way why you never hug Iguanodon. Yeah. Iguanodontids have issues.

Skip way ahead to the Ceratopids. Here's a classic paleoart meme with a twist: A charging Triceratops facing off against a T. rex... who appears to be making the earliest known Trollface.

They don't make'm like that anymore.

Looks like he gets his comeuppance, though.. Sheesh, T. rex. Know when to stop.

At the end of the book is a section about non-dinosaurs. This is where the "Other Prehistoric Creatures" in the title comes in, but it still feels like an after-thought. The section is titled "Dinosaur Contemporaries", which is odd, because it includes Permian animals like Dimetrodon and Lycaenops. o.O

Here's an example of a short-lived but memorable paleoart meme: Germanodactylus hanging bat-like from a tree.

I actually think this is pretty awesome. I can imagine it watching it's prey from this position like a silent gargoyle, and then swooping down like a Mesozoic Batman.
Prey: "Who are you?"
Germanodactylus: "I'm your worst nightmare!"

Speaking of short-lived paleoart memes, here's a more long-lived one. One that refuses to to die even today: Questzalcoatlus scavenging carcasses like a vulture.

Seriously, this myth needs to die. Real Azhdarchids were much more interesting: Giraffe-sized terestrial crane analogues FTW!

On that bomshell, we have come to the end of our tour. It has certainly been an interesting trip through the surreal world of outdated and unintentionally hilarious paleoart. Let us say goodbye to the "Weirdo Goof", Gay Pride Segisaurus, Creepy lizard-faced Deinonychus, Granny Allosaurus, Trollface T. rex, enthusiastic sauropods, badass Tenontosaurus, grouchy Iguanodontids, Bat Germanodactylus, and vulture Quetzalcoatlus. Especially vulture Quetzalcoatlus.

Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Creatures Part 1

Today I will be reviewing a book called The Illustrated Directory of Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Creatures. Published in 2000, this volume is a treasure trove of outdated and unintentionally hilarious paleoart. There is really too many to list all of them, but I have narrowed it down to a few highlights. This should still take a few posts. Please excuse bad quality.

Let's start with the cover. I love how it looks like Parasaurolophus was just nicely posing for the picture, and T. rex just stuck his face in the frame.

 T. rex is a major troll, as we will see later.

On the second title page we are greeted by a jolly-looking Brachiosaurus who seems totally cool with being the first of many dinosaurs to get stuck in the gutter.

The first group of dinosaurs we meet are the Coelurosaurs, a group that at the time included practically every small theropod "as a matter of convenience". At least this book is honest about it. The Coelurosaurs are oddly represented by an already outdated flippered Compsognathus:

This is one of my favorite outdated theories. I liked it so much, I drew my own version:

The first genus profiled is a more accurate (for the time) Compsognathus. Note the classic "T. rex" hands.

Moving along, we find a creepy, beady-eyed Ornitholestes snacking on a gory hunk of meat.

I have a feeling this picture caused it's fair share of nightmares.

Next we meet the Ornithomimosaurs and Oviraptorosaurs who were considered close relatives at the time.

This picture (below) is undoubtedly one of the worst depictions of Oviraptor I have ever seen. Retro scaley, nose-horned, tail-dragging egg-snatcher:

To make matters worse, the opposite page has some perfectly normal Oviraptor skulls.

Skip ahead to Segisaurus: The official dinosaur of Gay Pride.

On the next page, we find a retro lizard-faced Avimimus chasing a dragonfly. I've noticed a tendency in old paleo-art  for small theropods to pick on dragonflies.

The next family of dinosaurs we meet are the "Saurornithoidids" (Now known as Troodontids). Here represented by Dale Russel's infamous "Dinosauroid". A regular character in dinosaur books of the time, who me and my brothers affectionately dubbed the "Weirdo Goof".

Why did the authors of this book think it was a good idea to use ridiculous speculative creatures to represent dinosaur clades? This is the second time!

Edit: Unfortunately the above image was deleted off of ImageShack. Apparently ImageShack is offended by the sheer ridiculousness of this creature.

After that embarrassing introduction to the "Saurornithoidids", we meet the Dromaeosaurids, represented by a pack of  Deinonychus doing what they do best: Ganging up on poor Tenontosaurus.

 If you go by paleoart memes, you'd think Tenontosaurus existed for the sole purpose of being viciously attacked by packs of Deinonychus. Seriously, it's like his only claim to fame. He's like the Butt Monkey of the Mesozoic.

Then there's this:

D: Really, anything I say will only distract from how chilling this picture is.

Moving on... The first Dromaeosaurid profiled is Velociraptor. Rather an interesting depiction. On the one hand: It's naked. On the other hand: Note they didn't screw up the hand position!

Next we get to know a lizard-faced, bunny-handed Deinonychus who shares a page with a derp-faced Dromaeosaurus who seems to be hiding it's face in shame.

And then there's the worst skeletal restoration ever:

D':

On that note, I'm going to have to end Part 1 of this review. Next up: We meet the Carnosaurs, grouchy Iguanodontids, and "Other Prehistoric Creatures".

An Illustrated Directory of Dinosaurs and other Prehistoric Creatures

Book review time: I happen to own a copy of an interesting book called "An Illustrated Directory of Dinosaurs and other Prehistoric Creatures". This obscure volume boasts some of the worst pale-art I have ever seen.

Let us start with the cover:

First post.

Well, here's my first blog post. Nothing to say yet. I have a lot of old dinosaur books with weird paleo-art that would be fun to review.